I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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