He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
