sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
