Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
