Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I fill condoms, not promises.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I am naked and annoyed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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