Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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