I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
