Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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