Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
