Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
