i just sent this text using only my big toe
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
