I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
