I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
