She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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