I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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