marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
