Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
