I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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