woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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