I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
