im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
