note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
