so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
