Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
