you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
