Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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