you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
