So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
