If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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