I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
