Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
