i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have so many feelings about this burrito
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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