I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
