Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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