I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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