The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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