I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize