It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
