Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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