It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
did i walk over a car last night?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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