The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Randomize
