i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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