We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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