we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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