no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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