that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
