Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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