Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
