I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
