Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
