How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
