Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
