im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
