Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
