At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
