Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
