so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
