I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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