But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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