Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
