Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
