Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
