I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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