break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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