I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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