He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
