I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
