Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
