I wish I could teleport
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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