I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
