Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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