On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
