great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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