I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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