hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm like, not good at living.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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