I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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